Then is Now   Leave a comment

A few days ago I had a car accident. It was a one-car accident. A bit of rain had sprinkled on the road – not much but enough. I made an exit from the interstate, braked and skidded, lost control of the car, crossed two lanes of traffic, plowed up lots of grass and came to a stop with much damage to the left front wheel and front underside of the car.

I am so grateful that no one else was hit and that I am not injured. The car is in the shop, I have a rental and today I am not as sore as yesterday.

My husband Tom passed away last May. I don’t feel able to handle so well anymore all that is dished out in my life now, such as this wreck. Life this second year without Tom is much more difficult than the first year.

I knew I would be lonely without him. We really had so much in common in our faith, values, beliefs, and love for similar things, in music, books and all that is beautiful. Early in the marriage, he was very controlling, but he became comfortable in my freedom, setting himself free in my freedom to be. I told him once that I have imagined coming home with him gone, and I cannot tell you the pain that ripped through my heart then. Then is now.

The Anima Christi
Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from Christ’s side, wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within Thy wounds hide me
Suffer me not to be separated from Thee
From the malicious enemy defend me
In the hour of my death call me
And bid me come unto Thee
That I may praise Thee with Thy saints
and with Thy angels
Forever and ever
Amen

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Posted June 22, 2012 by ouidaofs in Death of spouse, Grief

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